Musicians choosing wedding music
There are times when the musicians are asked to make the choices for the wedding ceremony music, deciding on pieces for the bridal processional, the piece for the bride’s entrance as well as the rest of the ceremony, including the recessional music. That usually happens when the bride tells us that she is not familiar with classical music and would prefer for the musicians to make the choices.
Overall, we, as musicians, do not mind choosing the wedding music on our own. Usually, our choices are based on the number of bridesmaids in the processional, whether the wedding ceremony is outdoors or indoors, and other factors.
However, there is possible negative side to allowing musicians choose their own wedding music.
For one of the wedding ceremonies, a bride has requested for the musicians to choose the wedding music for the ceremony. After selecting several pieces, one of them being “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring”, I have emailed the selected choice to the bride for her confirmation. She emailed me a few days later, saying she had listened to the pieces on the internet and loved our selections. The musicians proceeded to play the chosen pieces during the wedding ceremony.
As we were packing to leave after the ceremony, we were approached by the father of the groom, who seemed somewhat upset and agitated. He told us that we should not have played “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring” during the ceremony. Turns out this piece was played during his mother’s funeral and it brought back negative memories for him, whereas a wedding should be a happy occasion, and by the musicians’s neglect we have ruined it for him!
The musicians have extended their apologies to him, attempting to explain that the wedding music was approved by the bride, but it fell on deaf ears, since at that point he was already aggravated and upset.
Granted, this was an isolated incident, but it is something to keep in mind for musicians and brides. There is no way to please everyone but we try to come close and sometimes unexpected happens…